Love letters

Last month I spent a couple weeks traveling in Asia for work. This post is not about that trip, however. Instead, I wanted to share a snippet of hilarity sent amidst the love letters Jim sent from home. I had been off the grid for a couple days when I read the following, and it literally made tears squirt forth from my eyes as burst into screaming laughter... your results may vary... enjoy!

"Malo must have swallowed some salt water during his swimming adventure (we all went in the cold cold water today). On the way home, his ass burst so violently that he ended up on the front floor. I cannot describe how awful the carnage was. He shot a turd directly into the passenger seat, along with a belly of poopy salt water. It was a crazy awful brown circular smear about 8 inches across the seat, splashed onto everything nearby. I was screaming like a horror movie. We almost went into a ditch. It just exploded. I was wondering why he was crying. I have to start listening to that.

In other news, the car was washed. The seats are in the washing machine, and there's a Seaside junior high team with 20 of my dollars. I made them work hard for them - external only, but wheels, roof, windows, anything I could think of. Internally, I'm going to have to clean and disinfect the cabin. We all had our head out the window on the way home, looking quite queasy. It was rank enough to make the prom kids wince as I pulled up to the red light downtown."